So, I'm anxiously getting ready for the BIG one, and no, it's NOT the Superbowl. Rather, it's the LSAT. Ahhhh. *freak out dance begins*
On Feb. 11th I take the LSAT, and I am nervous. While I've studied more for the this test than almost any other test I've ever taken, that's not saying a lot. I'm a crammer, and although I studied and studied my senior year of uni, it was nothing like I'm doing now. I feel like I should have started studying months and months ago instead of a week and a half ago. Even then, I should have put in more time than 3-4 hours a week. My practice scores keep going up and down, up and down, never where my perfectionist self wants them to be.
But, one thing I will admit to is that I enjoy this. I've missed having a purposeful study in my life. Working through problems is relaxing, comforting. It allows my mind to focus on ONE thing, going through it step by step until the answer dances before me.
At work I constantly have five to ten things to sort through, solve, write down, or plan. Like I've mentioned before, I'm a professional juggler. And, while I love my work, it does get exhausting, especially now that my duties have begun to include some legal advocacy. But, I'm not complaining. It's still the best job I've had by far, and I still love my clients.
In fact (and this is continuing the off-topic mode I just began), I had a complete turn around in one of my clients. For the past several weeks I've had a teenage client who has seriously (and I mean SERIOUSLY) tested my patience. It has taken every single fiber of my over-large body to keep my voice from lashing her to pieces. But, I have resisted. Monday night was about to change everything. I was on the verge of a breakdown with her when I just lifted up my prayer to God, the miracle worker. I told him that I could no longer handle this, and something needed to be worked out in both of our lives or blood would be shed. Okay, that last bit is a slight hyperbole, but it carries the sentiment across. Anyways, within two hours the client was asking me for help setting up anger management classes. This is a HUGE step for her. HUGE. Then, yesterday, the aforementioned client was surprisingly pleasant ALL day long, not just for an hour or so. What a blessing!!
But, back to the BIG one. As I said I'm extremely nervous about this test because I really want to prove to myself that I do belong back on a campus. And, more importantly, I want to be able to chose my campus. Now, I know that ultimately, I will end up where God wants me. But, if it's where I feel like I'm currently being led, then I really need to well. Which means more studying. Unfortunately, the way my life works, the past week or so when I have actually been committed to studying, everything changes. Not only am I working 45+ hours a week in an extremely strange schedule, I'm also working with Upwards basketball 4-7 hours a week. And then, there's the sunshine. It's sooooo gorgeous outside that I'm trying to ride my bike as much as possible.
Now, I know this sounds like a bunch of excuses, and maybe they are, but I am trying, for the most part. However, this next week and a half I WILL step it up a couple of notches no matter what. I have an amazing mother who is my inspiration. Despite all she's been through and how hard it is for her to concentrate on one thing, she studied her butt off for her music therapy recertification test which must be taken every 5 years. And she PASSED!!! As I go in for this last leg of the journey, she'll be what guides me to the finish line.
