Red (combined parts)

Chapter One

It was the coldness found in the red plastic cup that caught her attention. She hated it, hated how it changed people, and hated how something so intoxicating could be found in something so innocent. Most people saw just the red cup, one of those cheap, disposable cups that are sold in bulk for barbeques and picnics, and thought nothing about it, but she knew better. Ok, maybe the cup itself was innocuous but the contents, the contents of that cheap cup were poison.

She had known that toxin all her life. It contaminated her home like a cancer, beginning in one small corner of the body only to spread its ugly fingers until all appendages began to rot. Tears began to pour down her face as she thought over all the pain that fought to claw its way deep into her heart. Gripping the cup tightly Katie poured its contents onto the dry dirt road and threw the cup as far as she could, hoping that with the cup she could throw away all the old memories, all the scars, and all the pain. Then she began walking farther and farther away.

Leaving it all, she began to walk away from everything she had ever known. However, despite her new intentions, the memories persisted, memories that brought nothing but pain and destruction. Everything that brought her to this point was poison and it clung to her like the smell of Hugo Boss cologne and whiskey.

“Oh God,” she sobbed. Sinking to the ground by the side of the road, she cradled her head between her knees. Before she had a chance to block them, the voices took control inside her head.

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“Come here sweetie!” Katie’s mother’s voice rang through the backyard. “Mommy has something for you. She picked it out special, just for Momma’s pretty girl.”

Four year old Katie hopped off the swing and ran to her mommy. “Mommy! Mommy! You’re back.”

“Yes baby, of course I’m back! I was only gone a few hours.”

“But I missed you. And you missed Sar-ry take her first step. Mimi missed it too. She just talked on the phone to some boy named Eric.” At this Katie gave a little pout, as if to say “How dare anyone miss Sarah’s first step.”

“Shame on me. I’m sorry I missed it, but maybe Sarah will walk for me later. Come inside the house. I brought you a surprise.” Angela’s voice was soft and musical as she tried to cover the laugh that refused to be silent and led her daughter inside the house. At the thought of a surprise present, Katie instantly forgave all and joyfully skipped at her mother’s side. Angela knew she probably should have resisted. Really, it would have been better had she fought the urge, but when she saw the box with the ragged “For Sale” sign, well…she just couldn’t resist. Trying not to think about what the consequences her actions would bring, she gave all her attention to the bright-eyed angel at her side.

“I got a surpri-ise! I got a surpri-ise.” Katie chanted as she skipped contentedly into the living room. Then she saw it. Actually, she heard it first for there, on the red and yellow carpet, stood a tiny, golden-haired cocker spaniel. The instant Katie saw it she ran for it and scooped it into her arms, allowing it to displace the red-headed Sarah doll.

“Puppy!!!” The girl’s delighted squeal brought a smile to her mother’s lips, temporarily replacing the thoughtful frown that had graced her countenance only moments before. The girl needed a puppy and this small runt would be the perfect companion for Katie. Now all she had to do was convince the man she called “husband.”

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Katie looked up as headlights broke through the tears swimming in her eyes. Standing up, she stuck out her hand, willing to take her chances with the oncoming stranger than to go back and face the past. As the vehicle grew closer, she could make out the petite woman driving the cherry-red Ford pickup. When it crawled to a stop in front of her, it took only a second for Katie to gather her backpack in her hand and hop into the passenger seat.

“Where ya headed?” It was a soft, purposeful voice with a southern twang, the kind you only hear in movies and to Katie, it sounded like an angel’s voice – like her mother’s, or maybe she was still hearing her mother’s voice in her head. She honestly didn’t know anymore. The woman looked questioningly at Katie, waiting for her answer and Katie forced herself back into the present.

“Anywhere but here. Wherever you end up will be fine by me.” The woman shook her head as if this answer pleased her and then directed the truck back onto the highway. Katie turned slightly toward her rescuer and could dimly make out her profile in the light of the setting sun and headlights. Beneath a mane of curled red hair lied a pale freckled face. Deep-brown, almond shaped eyes, a contrast to the pale skin. Her nose was slightly too long, and her lips were slightly too large to make her a dashing beauty, but kindness shone in her eyes and her lips seemed to automatically smile, giving the face a distinct and comforting beauty.

“My name’s Lola and I’m headed West, New Mexico, to be specific. What’s your name?”

“Katie.”

“Well good to meet you Katie. I hope you don’t mind the desert…” No, it wasn’t her mother’s voice, but it sure was close. Close and comforting. Katie leaned her head back against the worn headrest and closed her eyes, soaking in the voice as Lola continued to talk despite Katie’s silence. Soft, gentle, southern…so much like home. Like home used to be…before…

“So anyway, after I heard the news I knew I couldn’t wait one more moment. I mean, who’s gonna turn down their own grandmother. I sure couldn’t, especially not her. Memaw practically raised me. So when I heard how sick she was I just jumped in Ol’ Prince and sped away. Haven’t been stopped yet thankfully. But then, Texas always has had decent roads and speed limits. You have to be grateful for decent speed limits…”

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“Please, don’t be angry. Just listen; I had to get him. Katie needs him. Can’t you see how much she loves him?” Her mother’s broken sobs echoed in her head, replacing Lola’s chatter. “Can’t you see…? Can’t you see…?” No one cried like her mother- no one. Even in the bitterness, there was something sweet. Her mother was a true southern belle, graceful and genteel, so even her heartbroken pleas conveyed a dignity through the drawling vowels.

“That girl does not need a dog, she needs discipline, a firm hand. And she does not need molly-coddling from you.” Her father also drew his vowels, but only when drunk, as he was that night, and even then it was only a slight drawal. Her father’s voice was usually very direct, concise, cultured. Outsiders would never know when he was drunk; he was just that good. But she knew and her mother knew, because her upright father only let his guard down when he let the alcohol take control. His sober voice was soft, deadly, like a snake waiting to strike. And his sober voice always knew exactly where to bite. His drunk voice, however was louder and obtrusive, striking everything within range. And tonight, the puppy was in range; Angela was in range and Katie was in range.

“Please, just let her keep the puppy. She’s already attached.” Angela was down on her knees, staring up into his cold eyes. Katie sat in the corner, trying to keep Sammy silent. She knew better than to make a noise when daddy was in one of his “moods” as her mother called them. The squirming puppy wouldn’t be still and it frightened Katie. If he looked their way…

“Please be still…pleeeeassse be still. Shhh…” Katie frantically whispered to the puppy as it tried to escape and capture the nearest ball. Katie hugged Sammy closer and closed her eyes as she rocked back and forth, slowly, trying to block out all sounds. In her head she tried to picture the room. Her mom had taught her this game.

“Try to remember everything exactly the way it is. Concentrate hard so that everything else is completely blocked out…See the lamp over in the corner. How many light bulbs does it have? What type of flower is on the rug? How many cups are on the table?” On and on it went until everything was in its place. Mommy said the game would improve her memory, but Katie used it to block out the voices. The yelling hurt her ears.

Angela knew it was a losing battle by the hard line of Garek’s jaw. He was adamant; Sammy must go. But when she looked at Katie rocking herself in the corner she had to press him, just one more time.

“It’s just a puppy Garek, just one puppy. It’s not going to spoil her. Please, just this once, just this once.” Not even Katie could block out the sound as her father’s hand came in contact with her mother’s face. The sound echoed throughout the room. Katie peeked at her mother and saw the tears leak from the corner of her eye.

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“Rise and shine!” The voice pushed through Katie’s clouded mind, demanding to be heard. Slowly, she opened her groggy eyes and made out Lola’s face peering at her from beneath the flaming hair. “We’re here. You slept right through the night. You didn’t even wake up when we stopped for gas. Anyways, Memaw’s been expecting us. She has a room all ready for you too. So you just grab your bag and come on inside.”

Katie looked out through the window and saw, well…not much. There was a row of houses with a line of cars parked by the curb and some dirt and more dirt. “Where are we?”

“Artesia, New Mexico.” As if reading her thoughts, Lola continued, “I know it doesn’t look like much now, but believe me. Artesia is the best place to be when everywhere else is just too painful to be. It’s like a haven, and it’s a treasure all its own.” As she spoke, Katie detected a hint of sadness in the young woman’s voice, and she wondered if Lola had once needed Artesia to be her haven. However, before she could think things through Lola continued, “Now, Memaw’s already said you are welcome here as long as you want to stay. That’s just Memaw’s way. However, please don’t let Memaw talk you into letting her do all the cleaning and cooking. She never realizes that when a person is sick, that person needs to rest. Memaw just keeps on working and working. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t already have a batch of biscuits and gravy cooking in the kitchen.” At this Lola chuckled and then turned to look at Katie. “So, are you ready?”


“Ready or not, here I come!!” Katie peeked out of the bushes serving as her hiding spot to see Marcus spin around and begin his quest. “I’m gonna find you Katie and Arnold, so you might as well give up now.” Katie resisted the urge to giggle. Marcus always began like this, but it was only because he was the worst seeker in the neighborhood. It always took him forever to find anyone. Katie and Arnold were the best. They always knew the best places to hide, so they also knew where to look. Right now, Katie curled herself under the prickly bushes next to Arnold’s house.

“Sammy,” go away. Katie tried to gently push the hovering cocker aside. However, as Sammy began to earnestly cover her in puppy kisses, Katie halted her protests and broke out into childish laughter instead. Sammy always knew where to find her…and how to make her laugh. He had grown about a foot and a half, his medium-length, silky hair curling into ringlets. Katie loved to wrap her fingers around his hair, holding him close.

Daddy hadn’t wanted to keep Sammy. After hitting mommy he went into the kitchen, filling a cup with coffee. Mommy got up and sat on a chair, wiping her face. She smiled as she looked at her daughter, curled in the corner, holding her present. As her dad walked back into the room, the doorbell rang.

Katie could do nothing to stop Sammy this time. As the chimes echoed throughout the house, he burst into loud yaps, rushing out of her arms and straight towards the door. Katie didn’t know whether to laugh at the picture of Sammy circling the door or to cry at the look on her dad’s face as he battled Sammy for the space to open the door.

“Angela, get this mongrel out of here,” he whispered to his wife. Angela rushed over to shepherd the dog out of the way, as Garek managed to open the door.

“Malene, what are you doing here?” Garek’s concerned voice covered his frustration and anger from the last five minutes. “Come on in. Is everything okay at the office?”

“Well, not really. Sybill misplaced the files on the Elrick case, and now Jackson’s freaking out and Mr. Jameson is storming about. They sent me to ….” Malene never had time to finish her sentence before Sammy bounded out into the living room again, jumping up and down at Malene’s ankles. “Ahh, what a cute puppy. You never told me you had a dog Garek. How old is he?”

Angela could see the calculating look in Garek’s eyes and knew that this might be the break she and Katie needed. Before he had a chance to respond, Angela answered Malene’s question. “He’s only a few weeks old. Garek thought Katie could use a puppy to keep her company and teach her responsibility. Katie, why don’t you take Sammy back to your room. You can make him a bed out of the extra blankets from the guest room.”
As Katie followed her mother’s instructions, she could hear Malene’s response, “How sweet Garek. Every girl needs a pony or a puppy. You’re such a good father. I bet you are going to make Katie a daddy’s girl for sure. Now tell me, about these missing files…” Katie didn’t hear the rest, but she did see Malene’s hand touch her father’s arm briefly before they sat on the couch.

Katie and Sammy now lied together underneath the bushes. “Sammy, if you don’t get your bottom covered, Marcus is going to find us.” Katie always liked talking to the dog like he could understand her. He was her best friend, and he followed her everywhere. Her mommy always laughed when they came home together, covered in dirt and leaves. “But mommy,” Katie would plead, “Sammy just had to roll in the leaf pile. He said he would run away if he didn’t.”

“Well, you and Sammy better get a bath then, before your daddy comes home.” Angela would always respond, as she did now, after Katie’s game of hide-and-seek. “Now go get out of your dirty clothes, and I’ll come help you with your bath in a few minutes.” Taking another sip of the wine in her glass, she stared after her only child as she skipped out of the room, with the growing dog at her side. Only she and Garek knew why the puppy had stayed. He couldn’t very well tell his mistress that he wanted to throw the dog out, not after she made her “good father” speech. For the first time, Angela had actually been grateful for Malene’s presence. Exhaling softly, Angela looked into her glass, picked up the nearby bottle and refilled her dwindling drink.
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“Memaw,” Lola called out from the doorway. “We’re here. Come on inside Katie.”

The first thing Katie smelled upon entering “Memaw’s” house was the smell of freshly-baked biscuits and bacon. As she followed Lola into the kitchen, she noticed the fluffy, pink-colored carpet, the flowered upholstery and the upright piano sitting underneath a large, gilded mirror. Stepping into the kitchen, Katie saw the grandmotherly lady Lola called “Memaw.”

“Hello Katie. I’m so glad you could join us. Lola told me that you needed a place to stay for a while, and you are more than welcome to stay right here.”

“Thank you. I appreciate your generosity. Are you sure I won’t be in the way? Lola mentioned that you’ve been sick. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Nonsense, this house has always been here for those who need a bed to sleep in, even if that bed is just a pallet on the floor.”

“She’s right too,” Lola interjected. “I remember waking up one morning, walking out into the living room, and seeing body after body scattered around the floor. My cousin had invited ten of his friends over for the night. When Memaw saw the group, she fixed enough of her famous biscuits and gravy for thirty boys.”

“Speaking of biscuits and gravy. This batch is getting cold. Now, why don’t we all sit down and eat.” Saying this, Memaw set the pans on the round table centered in the cozy kitchen.

Breakfast turned out to be a fairly quiet affair. Lola and her memaw graciously avoided asking her any prying questions. Instead, they used the time to chat quietly with each other, catching up on the news from their time apart. Apparently Lisa Sanford had another baby a couple of months ago, and Jeremy Bryant became engaged despite the fact that the entire town of Artesia had given up on that happening. Memaw had been to her usual circle of doctors: the clinic doctor, the chiropractor, the oncologist and the orthopedic doctor. Now, she was just waiting on results.

“This was delicious Memaw.” Lola stood up and started gathering the dishes. “You definitely haven’t lost your touch. If you want to take Katie to her room, I’ll get the kitchen back in order.”

Katie grabbed her backpack from its present location on the floor next to the kitchen entrance, and followed the matronly lady down the hall, looking as she pointed out the different bathrooms and bedrooms. “It really is too big for one lady most of the time. However, when Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, it seems as if there are arms and legs protruding from every crevice. Now, this bedroom will be yours for as long as you need it. The dresser drawers are empty; however, I will need to clean out the closet today or tomorrow.”

“You really don’t need to worry about that. I didn’t bring many things with me.” Katie shrugged and gazed at the bag in her hand.

“Hmmm . . . well, I bet there are some clothes in the closet that just might fit you if you need them. The grandkids always seem to leave random pieces of clothing around the house, and I just place them all in there. Seeing as how the girls are the worst, I’m sure there are a few items that would fit you. You are welcome to anything you find in there. Anyway, I’m sure you must be tired. I always enjoy a long nap after hours on the road, but if you would prefer to look around, I can give you a few general directions and tips.”

“Thank you. You are right about the nap though. I am fairly tired, and sleep sounds nice.”

“Well, I’ll just leave you to get settled in then. If you need anything, just holler.”

As Memaw left the room, Katie set her bag on a nearby rocking chair and settled onto the bottom part of a bunk bed; only, since the top bunk was missing, there was plenty of room for her to sit up straight and look around at her new quarters. It was a modest-sized room, probably ten by ten. The bed which she was sitting on stood against the back wall. Katie had seen a window against the wall on her way in, and now the sun was shining through lacy white curtains. Next to the opposite wall, there were three small bookshelves. Each shelf was full of books. Religious books, fantasy books, mystery books. Scanning the titles, Katie was surprised that she even recognized a few. She had read Jane Eyre in her British Lit. class junior year. A book of poetry by Auden was also familiar, as were the collections of Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost poetry.

On top of two of the bookshelfs, someone had placed an assortment of family photographs. People, lots of people, stood in various poses – standing, sitting, laughing, kissing, hugging, running. One frame stood apart though; it sat alone on the third bookshelf, the one closest to the door. The frame was silver and had a wave design etched along the sides. On the photograph inside, there was a woman, probably in her late thirties or early forties. Her face was a three-quarter profile. She was smiling, but barely - absentmindedly. Her brown hair was cut short in an almost boyish fashion, but on her, it was very feminine. She had wrinkles at her eyes, but they only emphasized the far-away look present in them. When you looked at her whole face together, she looked happy, but when you only looked at the eyes, or at the mouth, the mystery woman was sad. The whole effect puzzled and intrigued Katie. A frame set apart, within reaching distance of the door. A woman neither happy nor sad, but both.

“Oh well.” Katie thought. “It’s not like I’ll be here long enough to care or unravel the mystery.” Pushing thoughts of the mystery woman out of her mind, Katie turned and looked out the window. There was a pecan tree towering in the backyard. It overshadowed everything, wrapping the backyard in a dark filmy shadow.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine . You make me happy when skies are gray.” As Katie began singing the words to her favorite childhood song, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a raggedy doll. The plaid dress was worn and faded and the hair was a tangled mess, but Katie held her close. “Sarah, we did it. We finally did it. We left him. The question is, where do we go from here.” With her old Sarah doll held tightly at her chest, Katie curled up into a ball on the bed and began to drift into sleep as the last line of the chorus ran through her head. “Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

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“Mommy, sing me a song.”

“But sweetey, I already sang you a song, and now it’s time for bed. Look, here’s your Sarah doll, and Sammy is already asleep at your feet. How can you play with him in dreamland if you don’t go to sleep? ” Angela hoped the mention of Sammy would convince Katie to go to sleep. Lately, Katie had been convinced that whenever she and Sammy slept at the same time, they were able to meet and play together in their dreams. Angela didn’t have the heart to tell her that dogs didn’t dream.

“Just one more song. Pleeeaassse! I promise I will go to sleep right after you finish. I’ll even keep my eyes closed while you sing. Sammy will wait for me. Besides, I think Sammy has found himself a girlfriend. Hehehe.”

Unable to resist, Angela questioned her daughter, “And why do you think that?”

“Because he keeps on running away in the middle of our tea parties. He leaves his tea AND his cookies and just disappears. So, will you sing the song?”

“Okay, but close your eyes. And you have to go to sleep as soon as I am finished. Here goes.

‘You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.”
As Angela looked down, she noticed the steady rise and fall of Katie’s chest. She knew the girl had to have been tired. Still, she kept on singing, just in case Katie wasn’t completely asleep yet.

‘The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

‘Good night baby. I’ll see you in the morning.” Bending down, Angela gently kissed Katie’s cheek and then tiptoed out of the room and toward her own bedroom, singing the next verse to herself as she walked past her husband’s office.

“I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day.”

“What was that Angela?”

“Oh nothing Garek. I’m just talking to myself. I’m going to bed. Will you be up late?”

“Of course I will. I told you earlier that since Larry’s out for the next two weeks, I’m left by myself to do all this work. Do you ever listen to anything I say?”

“I remember you saying Larry’s out, but I thought you had paralegals and assistants to help you with the caseloads. Why can’t you leave the work for them and come to bed early tonight?”

“Because the assistants don’t have half a brain between the three of them. That’s why. And if I can’t get any peace around here, then I’m going to the office. Now, are you really going to make me drive all the way back there this late at night?”

“No, of course not dear. Good night.” Reaching her room Angela shut the door and began to get ready for bed. As she finished her nightly routine, the rest of the words to her song played on in her head.

‘You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams.”

“Where did you say you found her?” Memaw questioned her granddaughter as she entered back into the kitchen.

“Oh, I’d say about four miles outside of Fredericksburg. She was just sitting down by the side of the road. I almost didn’t see her, but when I did I just had to stop. She looked so small and dejected.”
“Has she said anything about where she is from or why she’s running, or even how old she is?”

“No, she was really quiet on the way here. Slept most of it. There’s just something about her though that looks familiar. That look, in her eye. I’ve seen it before.”

“We all have sweetey. Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s sleeping right now, but maybe she’ll be ready to talk when she wakes up. In the mean time, why don’t you go make your rounds about town.”

“ Oh, so Katie can sleep but I can’t. I’m the one that drove all the way. I’m sure Jake and the office can wait an extra day while I reintroduce myself to the lovely land of dreams and blissful ignorance.” Katie knew that her grandmother was just waiting for her to get out of the house so that she could use the outing as an excuse to throw a couple of errands her way, but it was more fun trying to get her grandma to confess to the ruse.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get out? It’s not too hot today and I know Jake and the others would love to see you today. Besides, the office is right next to Bealls and you could use the chance to browse around the store. And, if you’re going to go ahead and browse around, you might as well drop off my bill. Let’s see, I have it around here somewhere.” Saying this, Memaw searched through the papers on the kitchen counter, looking for her Bealls payment. “And if you’re going by Bealls, you might as well stop at Finns and pick up a couple of items for dinner. They have a sell on pork tenderloins and chuck roast. You always did like my chuck roast with green beans and potatoes.”

“Memaw, is there anything else I can do for you while I’m out making my rounds instead of sleeping? Perhaps you would like a nice, juicy goose or maybe an extra pecan tree for the back yard? I’m sure I can stop by the pecan orchard and dig one up for you.” Lola went and placed her arm around her memaw’s waist, giving her a one sided hug.

“No, I think I have all the pecans I want right now and geese always have such a tough skin, but I could use some beans from the Horner farm, and if you can pick up my clothes from Mrs. Mason on Roselawn I would appreciate it. She called today and said she finished hemming and mending them. Ah, here it is.” After double checking the name and price on the bill, she handed it to Lola, along with an accompanying check. “Now, just take this up to the front and give them my number. Mrs. Packer usually works at this time, and she’ll take care of everything.”

“Ahhh the benefits of living in a small town. So, that will be Bealls, Finn’s, Mrs. Mason, and beans. Got it. Will do. Let me just find my keys and I will be out of here.” After scouting around for a minute, Lola picked her keys up from off of the piano and headed out the door, listening from one last reminder from her grandmother.

“Don’t forget to tell Jake and co. hi from me!”

Back in her truck Lola’s thoughts drifted back to the girl currently sleeping in the back bedroom of her Memaw’s house. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the haunting look of Katie’s eyes out of her mind. “Oh well,” she thought. “I guess I’ll just tackle this day one problem at a time, and right now it looks like I have to find myself some Horner’s beans.” With this in mind, she drove off into town.

“Katie dear, it’s time for dinner. Katie?”

“Hmmm…” As the voice broke Katie out of the darkness of sleep, she opened her eyes and saw the elderly lady standing over her. “I’m sorry. What were you saying Mrs…”

“Addison, but why don’t you just call me Memaw. Everyone does. And I was saying that dinner is ready. You’ve been asleep all day.”

“Oh?” Katie sat up, stretching her arms up over head. “All day? It felt like I was only asleep for a minute.”

“You must have been exhausted. Which is another reason why you need a good, hearty meal in you. Why don’t you take a minute to finish waking up and then you can join us in the kitchen.”

“Ok, thank you.” As Mrs. Addison, or Memaw as she was determined to be called, walked out the door, Katie stood up and ran her fingers through her hair, thankful that it was short enough not to tangle while she slept. Then, after making a quick stop to wash up in the bathroom, she joined the two ladies sitting at the table.

“Mmmm, it smells good. What is it?” She asked.

“Oh, just a few things I threw together. A little chuck roast, some greens and potatoes and for dessert, JELLO! Now, Lola, why don’t you say the prayer, and then we can begin.”

Katie watched Lola and Memaw bow their heads and did the same, grateful that she wasn’t the one asked to pray. At the “AMEN” everyone looked up and Memaw began dishing out the food. Lola shared a look with her grandma and then, between bites, began to start the conversation. Katie caught the look, and knew that questions wouldn’t be far away. After all, how many people would take a perfect stranger into their home without questions. No, Katie expected the questions, she just wasn’t sure how she was going to answer them.

“Did you sleep well Katie?” The first question wasn’t what Katie expected and it kind of threw her off. “No where are you from?” or “Why did you run away?” Just a simple “How did you sleep?”

“Does it make sense if I say that I’m not quite sure?”

“Actually, it makes perfect sense. I’ve had quite a few of those myself. You wake up and can’t believe that its already been several hours, yet you don’t remember anything but darkness, so you know you must have been deep asleep. You’re both awake and sleepy which leaves you slightly unsettled. Is this what you mean?”

“Now aren’t you glad you didn’t sleep?” Turning to address Katie, Memaw continued, “See, sometimes us old ladies know what we are talking about. Lola tried to sleep away the afternoon, but just think, if it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t be eating these fresh green beans or this tender roast.”

“Well thank you Memaw for looking after me. Now, if you could only point me in the direction of a non-desk job and maybe a man, I will be eternally in your debt.” As the light-hearted conversation continued, Katie silently ate her food and listened to the women. That they deeply loved each other was evident. Lola kept on urging Memaw to eat a little more, and Memaw would keep suggesting different jobs or men or activities that Lola might enjoy – in spite of the fact that Lola just laughed off and waved each suggestion aside.

“Memaw, the problem with Memaw,” Lola told Katie, “is that she knows everyone in town. She’s lived here for over thirty years. However, her intimate knowledge of the ins and outs combined with her optimistic faith in humanity means that . . .”

“What it means is that I was always able to find a summer job for you whenever you wanted it.” Memaw’s interruption only caused Lola to smirk and reply with a “Whatever you say Memaw. After all, you do know best.”

Before Katie knew it, everyone had finished their dinner, but no uncomfortable or awkward questions had been posed to her. The three women worked at cleaning up the kitchen in comfortable silence before Lola posed one last question to Katie. “Why don’t you come take a walk with me Katie? The night sky is beautiful and I can show you some of the local sites.”

“Ok.” Katie responded, thinking that maybe she wasn’t as lucky as she thought. “She probably wanted to hear my answers without her grandma present in case I said that I had robbed a store or was pregnant or something. Here comes the interrogation.”

“Good night memaw. We’ll just be in after awhile, but you shouldn’t wait up. I know you must be tired.”

“You two have fun.” And with that, Lola and Katie walked outside into the enveloping darkness of the New Mexican night sky.


“I love Artesia and New Mexico. I always have.” The sound of Lola’s voice jarred Katie out of her reverie. They had been walking for several minutes in silence before Lola began to speak. “When we first moved to Texas, I hated it. It took me years to finally appreciate it. But New Mexico was, is and will always be my first love. There’s just so much here, in the barren openness.” Katie paused and Lola knew her turn would be next, but before she could think of how to begin, Lola continued. “Katie, I’m not going to ask you why you were on the side of the road, or what’s happened in your past. But I do want you to know that you have a home here. Like I said earlier, this place doesn’t look like much. There’s not much to see or do. But there is magic here. All you have to do is look at the stars to see that. Smell the air. It’s healing – this emptiness and nothingness. It’s like magic.”

After hearing all this, Katie stopped walking, and without thinking blurted out, “But why? Why do all of this for me? You haven’t even asked me a question and you’re saying that I have a home with you and … and …your grandmother. Are you even sane? I’m sorry if that came out wrong, I’m just . . . why?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense and it does sound like both my memaw and me are insane. And truth be told, most of the time I feel like I am insane. And, I could stand here and make my memaw happy and tell you that you that we love you because God first loved us and throw in some stuff about entertaining angels in disguise, but the truth is that that’s all well and good and true but it’s not why I’m helping you. I’m helping you because I know everyone has a past and every single person on this earth is messed up and too much bad crap happens. I’m helping you because the look in your eyes haunts me every day, and while I know that you can’t understand that now, you should know that I’m here and you’re here, at this time and place. That’s all that matters. That being said, let’s head home.”

Katie, not knowing what else to do, turned around and joined Lola in finishing their walk in silence. Bits and pieces of Lola’s response kept echoing in her head. “I’m helping you because the look in your eyes haunts me every day. . . I’m here and and you’re here, at this time and place. . . let’s head home.” Before closing her eyes that night, Katie looked around her room again and whispered to herself, “I’m home.” Maybe if she said it out loud, she’d believe it.


Chapter Two

Awkward didn’t even begin to cover how Katie felt the next few days. While Lola and Memaw did everything possible to make her feel comfortable and “at home,” Katie knew the truth. She was a stranger and she had no right to be here. She couldn’t even pay them for their hospitality, even if they would have let her. Her money was dwindling down to nothing more than a few tens and some pennies. If only she had enough courage to contact her bank and transfer some money out of there. If only her dad wasn’t listed as a cosigner. Why were there so many “if onlys” in her life?

In addition, there was the whole time issue. Specifically, there was too much of it. Lola had a job. Memaw had friends and some sort of missions work to keep her occupied. Katie had nothing. There was tv. She could walk around and explore the town. But still, she had nothing. She didn’t even know if she wanted to stay here.

Eighteen was the age kids left home for college. For the past couple of months her friends had talked about nothing else but college parties, boys and beer. Katie had been excited too. Not for the same reasons, of course. Yes, college meant freedom, but it more than that, it meant separation.

“Oh, excuse me. I didn’t see you. I’m so sorry. Let me get these for you.” Katie bent down to pick up the stack of papers that now carpeted the floor of the Artesia Public Library. She had been enjoying the company of Jane Eyre in the serenity of the old, retro-styled building, but the increasing relentless grumbling of her stomach told her it was time to go. It was on her way out that she bumped into the man loaded with a stack of papers.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. In fact, I think some of my students would be rather relieved to find that their papers had been stepped on or otherwise rendered un-gradable.” Katie glanced up at the man, only to find him smiling in amusement.

“Students? Are you a teacher?” Right after she spoke, she knew it was a stupid comment. Of course he was a teacher. Who else has students?

“Yep. Monday through Friday I am teacher extradonaire. Master of 10th grade English grammar, senior-level compositions, World literature, American literature and British literature.”

“Only Monday through Friday? So, what happens on the weekend? Do you turn into pirate or maybe a prince from one of your books?”

“No, alas. On the stroke of midnight, the turning point that separates Friday from Saturday, I go from master of the classroom to servant of the papers. My evil stepmother keeps me locked in my office or the library and only lets me out to buy new red pens.”

“Ahhh, Artesia’s own Cinderman. Such a tragic life. Have you ever thought of escaping?”

“All the time.”

“What stops you?”

“The door. I always make it as far as the door, but then I hear a question from one of my students or I remember a ridiculously grammatically incorrect sentence from one of their papers that both infuriates me and makes me laugh. And I stop. I never can get past the door.”

“So, until your fairy godfather conjures you up a knightess in shining prada, you’re stuck serving the papers, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, good luck with your servanthood. I’ve got to go.”

“Good bye . . .?”

Katie knew he was waiting for her to answer his unspoken question of her identity, but something held her back, so she just echoed good bye and walked out the door, back into the blinding heat of the desert sun.


“Man, today’s a scorcher Katie-bell. How would you like to get out the sprinklers to cool off? You and Sammy can run through the water for a while.”

“The sprinklers? Really? But, daddy doesn’t like the sprinklers. He says it wastes money and makes the yard all muddy. I’m okay. Sammy’s hotter than I am. Look at him. His tongue is sticking out. Gross.” Six-year-old Katie giggled at the image of her large ball of fur panting in the summer heat with full frontal tongue-age.

Six-year-old Katie was much more aware of how to stay out of her father’s way, much more aware of how to avoid his anger. Her mommy thought she was too serious for her age, but Katie knew if she slipped up, then mommy would get another bruise.

Angela and Katie had been sitting in the back yard. Katie played fetch with Sammy, making him run after a small, orange rubber duck. Angela lied back in her blue and white-striped lawn chaise, sipping her wine, watching her daughter and her playmate running back and forth, back and forth across the dying blades of grass. Katie was right. Garek would be angry if they played in the sprinklers. He was getting more and more controlling about the money. About everything actually. Angela no longer knew how to keep him happy, or even calm for that matter. She no longer knew who he was. She just knew to keep out of his way. And, if she couldn’t give her daughter the sprinklers, then she could at least get her away from the increasingly prison-like house.

“Katie-bell, why don’t we go get an ice cream then. Just you, me and Sammy. Would you like that?”

“Can Sammy get his own ice cream cone?” Katie’s eyes perked up at the mention of ice cream. They always perked up at the mention of ice cream. It was her favorite food in the whole world, especially the birthday cake kind because it was blue, pink and purple, and it came with colored sprinkles. She liked sprinkles.

“Sure, Sammy can have a cone. Let’s go Katie-bell.” Downing the rest of her wine, Angela, somewhat unsteadily, got to her feet.